Cry For Help

I have to be honest with myself here. I am starting to have the "should I have become a parent?" feeling. I am not a good mom, well at least, my kids are starting to have some terrible behaviors (I think I have a drama queen and a control freak on my hands) and I'm pretty sure I'm the one to blame. Not to mention the very scattered and unorganized home that I keep. Now some people might try to comfort me " Oh, your doing fine". Well, no, I don't think so. I'm not depressed about it, I'm not guilt tripping myself in some hole in the ground. I am pretty sure I don't know what the heck I'm doing as a mom. I have good intentions. I think, gee, I want my kids to grow up to be capable adults who know how to take care of themselves and are aware of other people, I want them to make it back to Heavenly Father, and I want them to be able to know how to raise families of their own, I want them to have the skills to find work, and I want them to know how to be happy, etc. (The list goes on.) However, I'm concerned that those are great goals, but I have been horrible at achieving any goals since I've been married. I feel driven to laziness and distractions. I'm not always sure what is important and what isn't. I have a serious anger issue (which I'm pretty sure I learned from my dad) and I have a serious problem with saying things that are very mean at just the right moment (which I'm pretty sure I learned from my mom) :) I love my parents, I in no way blame them, they tried their best, now its my turn to be the parent. And I, too, have so many flaws.
When I was first pregnant, I read lots of books. I knew everything about pregnancy and babies. Beyond babies I haven't really read anything. So here I am-crying for help, where is the guidance I need as a mother? I need real advice, not cutesy, know-it-all perfection advice. I've already screwed these 2 up. Now what? What should I do to fix what I already broke and what can I do to make things right in my home?
This is the plan- I am going to start reading books (like I did when I was having babies), I'm going to pray, I'm going to study the talks and materials the church has produced on parenting, and I'm going to work harder on my own issues. I'm going to record what I'm thinking and doing on my blog... like a parenting journal. I'm going to review books by talking about what their theories are and how the ideas suggested have been used in our home and record if they are working or not. I really feel driven to renovate our family life.